So Close
by TheTudorsLover
Summary: "Sometimes you have to lose something to realize how much you really care." Finn might not understand everything and is not the smartest guy, but after almost losing the girl he loves, he will do anything to protect her and keep her close to him.


So I don't know if you noticed, Rachel's life kinda sucks sometimes. She has always been there for everyone in Glee when they needed someone but all they do is bully her and tease her. I came across a video on youtube of what if Rachel died, and this is where I decided to write this story.

….

Was this heaven? Rachel Berry was confused. She walked down the empty halls of McKinley High and for the first time, she felt at peace and not in pain. Yet she thought that when she die she would go to heaven, and McKinley was nowhere close to heaven, it was like her own personal hell. Rachel walked into the auditorium and when she stood in the middle of the stage the music began to play.

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.

There is no light in a room where there is no sun

and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.

From every window unfurls my heart the heart that you have won.

Into me you've poured the light,

the light that you found by the side of the road.

Time to say goodbye.

Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.

Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,

seas that exist no more,

it's time to say goodbye.

When you're far away I dream of the horizon and words fail me.

And of course I know that you're with me, with me.

You, my moon, you are with me.

My sun, you're here with me with me, with me, with me.

Time to say goodbye.

Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.

Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,

seas that exist no more,

I'll revive them with you.

I'll go with you upon ships across the seas,

seas that exist no more,

I'll revive them with you.

I'll go with you.

You and me.

When Rachel finished she had tears coming down her face. She knew she made the right decision by taking the pills. All her life she had tried to be strong for her dreams, but it just got to be too much and the pain she had in the inside was too much for her to handle. So after glee practice she took her suicide notes that she wrote and placed them in a spot where someone would be able to find them after her death. Then she went to her empty house, locked her bedroom door with the pills and a bottle of water.

So there she stood on the stage in her death. It was eerily quiet and faintly you could hear a beeping noise. Rachel didn't know where it came from and she listened closer and she could hear someone talking. The voice and beeping became louder and louder. Then there was a bright light and then she felt her eyes open. Rachel looked around and when she saw the hospital room and the nurse she knew instantly. She failed. Rachel Berry had failed suicide.

The nurse saw that she was that she was awake and said, "Hey Rachel, I'm Carrie. I will go tell the doctor and your dads you are awake. There are a lot of people who are worried about you." Rachel didn't say anything, she looked down and said that there were restraints on her wrists. She started tugging at them and getting frantic that she didn't notice that the doctor came in with her dads and Carrie.

"Rachel we had to put those on for caution." The doctor said. Rachel didn't even look at him or her dads, she just looked out the hospital window. She had the room that faced the pond and garden so it offered her distraction. "Mr. and Mr Berry, we are going to keep her here tonight then tomorrow she will be transferred to the psychiatric hospital where she will receive further treatment. Rachel, how do you feel?"

After a long pause she replied with two words. "Go. Away." Leroy and Hiram had tears in their eyes, so they went over to her, each placed a kiss on her forehead and then left the room. Only Carrie the nurse stayed.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" Rachel just shook her head. All she could think about was why it didn't work.

**Couple Hours Before**

Rachel was in the choir room before anyone else was there. She had already placed one of her letters where she knew someone would find eventually. After about 15 minutes the other glee members began walking in. Tina and Mike came in first holding hands and laughing about something, then Sam and Quinn followed them doing the same thing. Kurt and Mercedes were the next to arriving talking to Mr. Schue. Everyone seemed to ignore her like they normally do. Rachel felt her heart break when Finn arrived with Brittany and Santana laughing and flirting.

Glee started normally right after Artie and Puck arrive last. Rachel just sat in the corner being quiet and she saw out of the corner of her eye that Finn kept looking at her strangely. Half-way through the rehearsal Rachel couldn't stand it anymore. She just stood up, grabbed her bag and walked out.

Everyone just stared at her but they didn't say anything. Finn just sat there more confused then ever. Lately something was up with her, she barely said anything, her clothing went from her cute schoolgirl style to just tees and jeans. Then today when he walked in he noticed that she had deep bags under her eyes. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany went up to sing their song and then rehearsal was done. He was packing up his stuff when he noticed a pink notebook in the corner.

Finn walked over to it and saw that it was Rachel's. He picked it up and a piece of paper folded in half fell out. The choir room was empty except for him and Mr. Schue. Finn opened the paper and saw Rachel's handwriting.

By the time that someone reads this, Rachel Berry will be gone. I cannot stand the pain anymore and I have decided that today will be my last day. Just know that I love everyone in the Glee club even though they all hate me. I don't know why everyone hates me. I guess I do because now I hate myself. I cannot stand to live or breathe. So this is it. Goodbye.

Finn dropped the letter and his bag and ran out of the choir room as fast as he could to his car. When he got to his truck and started it, it only took him a few minutes to get to Rachel's house. As he was driving there he tried to call Rachel but it went straight to voicemail. Then he called Leroy.

"Hi Mr. Berry, have you talked to Rachel lately?" Finn was at a red light and he wanted so bad to get to Rachel.

"Not today Finn. Why?" Finally, the light turned green and Finn stepped on the gas as hard as he could.

"I think she's going to commit suicide. Im on my way to the house now."

"Oh my god. Okay, get there as soon as you can, I'll call Hiram and call 911, just get there Finn!" Leroy hung up right as Finn pulled onto their street. When he got to her house he saw her car in the driveway and the garage door up. He ran out of his car as soon it was in park and into her house. He looked around her house as quick as he could and then went up to her room. Her door was closed and when he tried to open it it as locked.

"Rachel!" He yelled through the door. "Open up!" When he got no answer he tried to kick the door down. After a few tries he got it open. In the distance he could hear the ambulance coming. He ran into her room. Then his eyes found her. She was laying on her bed unconscious. He ran to her and picked her up in his arms. He slapped her face lightly to wake her up. "Rachel, rachel, wake up please." Tears were forming in his eyes as he held a limp lifeless Rachel in his arms. He could hear the paramedics in the house. "UP HERE!" He yelled to them. Then he looked back down at her, "Please wake up. I love you Rachel!"

The paramedics came in with their gurney and took Rachel from him. They quickly put an IV in her and one of them started CPR. He followed them from her room to the ambulance. Outside some neighbors started to form around her house as they loaded her into the ambulance. Finn looked at her then back at the house then got into the ambulance with one of the paramedics. He held her hand the entire way to the hospital as one of them guys was still doing CPR.

When they got to the hospital, she was taken away and he was directed to the waiting room. First he called Kurt at their house. Kurt said that he would tell everyone else and he would be at the hospital soon. It took about 30 minutes and soon everyone from glee was in the waiting room. Finn just cried as Kurt and Quinn comforted him and everyone was trying to see why Rachel would do this. After another hour, Leroy and Hiram ran into the hospital. They saw Finn and ran to him.

"Where is she? Is she alive?" They asked a thousand questions in a second. Before Finn could answer anything a doctor came up to them with a nurse.

"Are you Rachel's fathers?" The doctor asked. They just nodded their heads with tears in their eyes as Finn stood up next to them. "I'm Doctor Collins this is Carrie, Rachel's nurse."

"Is she alive?" Finn finally asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes, she took a lot of pills so we had to stomach pump them, but she will live. It is a good thing you found her when you did. She just woke up and I think we should go see her." Leroy and Hiram just nodded and walked with the doctor as Finn just stood there and then slumped to the ground against the wall.

He felt someone touch his arm and when he looked around it was his mom. Finn had tears in his eyes and just fell to his mom crying. "Shh Finn, its going to be okay. She's fine. She's fine." She kept saying over and over as everyone else just cried from happiness. As they all cried from happiness, Rachel was crying from sadness.

…..

So what do you guys think? I believe that sometimes you have to lose something to see how much you really care. But Rachel didn't die, and everyone in Glee realized how much they really care about her and how much they need her. Please review!


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